Cootchie, Cootchie, Coo!

Dear Diary, 

     Kids are gross. Awesome...but gross. Lately, when I take off my daughter's diaper and reach for a new one, she quickly stacks something on her lady part. A couple of days ago it was a binky. This afternoon it was a strawberry. It doesn't matter the item, she will place it there and that is that. So this morning, she was trying to go potty in the training toilet. (Also affectionately known as The Turtle. See below.)

I look over, and see her rubbing her bottle against herself. Out of desperation, I sighed and said, "Hey! Don't. Stick. Things. On. Your. Cootchie! It's yucky!". She proceeded to giggle, look over at her brother and say, "Watch. Baba on cooootcheeee," and continued to repeat the word cootchie until she felt like she got it all out of her system. 

     A couple of days ago, I had a friend coming over to visit in the afternoon. I realized that my house smelled like the eggs we had eaten earlier that morning, and I decided to whip out the air freshener spray. My son popped his head out of his bedroom and looked at me with bewilderment. I told him I was spraying the house so it isn't stinky. Then he tells me, "Mom. Our house smell like a big fart." Nice. Thanks, son. 

     Between my farty house, my overly honest son, and my cootchie stuffing daughter, I'm thinking I need a girls night. 

Sincerely, 

Me. 

Giveaway Time! And a Tribute to Ruby.

Dear Diary, 

     

     A dear friend of mine and I shared similar pregnancies. We got married at the same time, had our baby boys at the same time, and were both pregnant with our baby girls at the same time. The only difference was that her baby, Ruby June, was diagnosed with Hydrocephalus, or "water on the brain". Ruby spent the first weeks of her life in the ICU, and passed away on October 26, 2011. Although she returned home to a loving Father in Heaven, she is missed by many here on Earth and everyone in Ruby's family's circle of friends hopes to keep her memory alive by continuing to celebrate her short time here. 

     Ruby's mother, Kristin, has been hosting a "15 Days of Giveaways" event on Ruby's behalf and I'm honored to be a part of it. The items I am giving away are a white & ruby bracelet and necklace set, along with a white & ruby hair clip. They were all hand made by me. Making jewelry is a hobby I have on the side. :) To enter today's giveaway, you must go to The Diaries of a Wimpy Mom's Facebook page and "like" it. Once you like it, leave a comment on the page regarding what you've done this week to lift someone up. The winner will be announced at 10 PM Central Time on October 30, 2013. If you do not have a Facebook page, go to www.thediariesofawimpymom.blogspot.com and become a follower of the blog. Then leave a comment just as the Facebook followers would. The winner will be announced on both the blog and the Facebook page. Good luck! To learn more about Ruby and her beautiful family, you can view Kristin's blog here.

Sincerely, 

Me. 

Jum-peeing.

Dear Diary, 

     
     This weekend, my family and I went to my hometown of Albuquerque, NM to attend the International Balloon Fiesta and visit loved ones. While there, we were at my uncle's house, who happens to own a trampoline. The inner child in me, full of pent up energy that needed to be exerted, kept being powerfully drawn to that dangerous black sheet of bounciness and wires that has been known to chip teeth, crack skulls and snap necks. I gave into my temptation to jump, and snuck outside without my kids and husband. I jumped once, and immediately felt the insides of my entire lower abdomen start to come loose. I jumped again, and I was pretty sure I had just peed my pants. That, or given birth to one of my lady parts. With a turned up lip and head cocked to the side, I jumped again...just to see. Another droplet headed south. Two more jumps and I was positive I had Lake Tahoe in my underpants. I waddled back inside as carefully as possible. My mom, who was also at my uncle's house at the time, asked me why I had been so quick to get off the trampoline. Everyone in the kitchen was listening. I told them, then made the walk of shame to the bathroom with voices of laughter behind me. Although in the end, it was no Lake Tahoe, it was instead a sobering reality of my aging body. I wish I could say that was the end of it, but I was in denial. At the park that afternoon, I hopped onto a high bar and tried to do a flip. I ended up with half-blistered hands, a newfound realization that I was indeed no longer the flexible person I once was, and a goal to get rid of my skintertube. And I have one last goal: it starts with a "k" and ends in "egel". I better get cracking.

Sincerely, 

Me.