Raising Awareness.

Dear Diary, 

     Recently, I was reached out to by a nice woman named Heather Von St. James, who hoped to raise awareness of an illness that goes by the name of Mesothelioma. Heather was diagnosed at the young age of 36. Please take a moment to watch this touching video and support another of our amazing readers. 

Sincerely, 

Me. 

My Little Pony.

Dear Diary, 

     There are many times in one's parenting journey where they catch themselves saying something absolutely ridiculous, yet illustrative of their role as a parent. For example, the other day I heard my husband go on and on about how insanely irrational My Little Pony had become. When my ears perked up due to the nature of the conversation, he continued on with the details such as the fact that these ponies have turned into humans. They now walk on their back legs and have fingers. Those were my husbands exact words, actually. And it wasn't until I witnessed it for myself that I thought our previous conversation was silly. Now, I'm as puzzled as he is. I suppose they'll need to change their theme song to "My Little Human, My Little Human, Ah, Ah, Ah, AH, My Little Human..." 

The original version of the My Little Pony characters.

The updated version of those same characters.

I failed to mention that the most interesting part of this entire thing is that our almost 4 year old son is the one addicted to My Little Pony. So here we are, defending our son's rights to watch "realistic", colorful, ditzy ponies dance around the television screen. Geez, the least they could do is make them walk on all fours again. 

*Sigh* 

Sincerely, 

Me. 

Cootchie, Cootchie, Coo!

Dear Diary, 

     Kids are gross. Awesome...but gross. Lately, when I take off my daughter's diaper and reach for a new one, she quickly stacks something on her lady part. A couple of days ago it was a binky. This afternoon it was a strawberry. It doesn't matter the item, she will place it there and that is that. So this morning, she was trying to go potty in the training toilet. (Also affectionately known as The Turtle. See below.)

I look over, and see her rubbing her bottle against herself. Out of desperation, I sighed and said, "Hey! Don't. Stick. Things. On. Your. Cootchie! It's yucky!". She proceeded to giggle, look over at her brother and say, "Watch. Baba on cooootcheeee," and continued to repeat the word cootchie until she felt like she got it all out of her system. 

     A couple of days ago, I had a friend coming over to visit in the afternoon. I realized that my house smelled like the eggs we had eaten earlier that morning, and I decided to whip out the air freshener spray. My son popped his head out of his bedroom and looked at me with bewilderment. I told him I was spraying the house so it isn't stinky. Then he tells me, "Mom. Our house smell like a big fart." Nice. Thanks, son. 

     Between my farty house, my overly honest son, and my cootchie stuffing daughter, I'm thinking I need a girls night. 

Sincerely, 

Me. 

Giveaway Time! And a Tribute to Ruby.

Dear Diary, 

     

     A dear friend of mine and I shared similar pregnancies. We got married at the same time, had our baby boys at the same time, and were both pregnant with our baby girls at the same time. The only difference was that her baby, Ruby June, was diagnosed with Hydrocephalus, or "water on the brain". Ruby spent the first weeks of her life in the ICU, and passed away on October 26, 2011. Although she returned home to a loving Father in Heaven, she is missed by many here on Earth and everyone in Ruby's family's circle of friends hopes to keep her memory alive by continuing to celebrate her short time here. 

     Ruby's mother, Kristin, has been hosting a "15 Days of Giveaways" event on Ruby's behalf and I'm honored to be a part of it. The items I am giving away are a white & ruby bracelet and necklace set, along with a white & ruby hair clip. They were all hand made by me. Making jewelry is a hobby I have on the side. :) To enter today's giveaway, you must go to The Diaries of a Wimpy Mom's Facebook page and "like" it. Once you like it, leave a comment on the page regarding what you've done this week to lift someone up. The winner will be announced at 10 PM Central Time on October 30, 2013. If you do not have a Facebook page, go to www.thediariesofawimpymom.blogspot.com and become a follower of the blog. Then leave a comment just as the Facebook followers would. The winner will be announced on both the blog and the Facebook page. Good luck! To learn more about Ruby and her beautiful family, you can view Kristin's blog here.

Sincerely, 

Me. 

Jum-peeing.

Dear Diary, 

     
     This weekend, my family and I went to my hometown of Albuquerque, NM to attend the International Balloon Fiesta and visit loved ones. While there, we were at my uncle's house, who happens to own a trampoline. The inner child in me, full of pent up energy that needed to be exerted, kept being powerfully drawn to that dangerous black sheet of bounciness and wires that has been known to chip teeth, crack skulls and snap necks. I gave into my temptation to jump, and snuck outside without my kids and husband. I jumped once, and immediately felt the insides of my entire lower abdomen start to come loose. I jumped again, and I was pretty sure I had just peed my pants. That, or given birth to one of my lady parts. With a turned up lip and head cocked to the side, I jumped again...just to see. Another droplet headed south. Two more jumps and I was positive I had Lake Tahoe in my underpants. I waddled back inside as carefully as possible. My mom, who was also at my uncle's house at the time, asked me why I had been so quick to get off the trampoline. Everyone in the kitchen was listening. I told them, then made the walk of shame to the bathroom with voices of laughter behind me. Although in the end, it was no Lake Tahoe, it was instead a sobering reality of my aging body. I wish I could say that was the end of it, but I was in denial. At the park that afternoon, I hopped onto a high bar and tried to do a flip. I ended up with half-blistered hands, a newfound realization that I was indeed no longer the flexible person I once was, and a goal to get rid of my skintertube. And I have one last goal: it starts with a "k" and ends in "egel". I better get cracking.

Sincerely, 

Me. 

Rise & Shine.

Dear Diary, 

     Last weekend, I beat my husband to the punch in asking him if I could be the one to sleep in on Saturday morning. He's an easy going person and gladly said, "of course!" Moments later, I plugged my ears (with the free ear plugs I stash from the gym, hehe) and away I went into a deep slumber. The next morning, my bedroom door opens and in comes my three year old. Only he isn't walking in. He is backing up by way of a shuffle, pants around his ankles, bent over forwards, hands on his bum cheeks and spreading them wide as he declares, "Dad! I need you wipe my bum!" I was glad I wasn't the one to wake up to that. Cheers! 

     In other news, I found myself scissoring a two pound block of Colby Jack cheese out of its packaging way too often. When I began to think about it, I came to the horrible realization that we are eating around 10 pounds of cheese a month. I'd love to say that this is for a family of 4, which can then be broken down to around 2.5 pounds per person per month, but truth be told, I'm the biggest offender here. Last night's trip to Costco resulted in 6 additional pounds of cheese that are guaranteed to be eaten within the next 30 days. 

     Lastly, and ironically, my terribly behaved one year old loves to sing Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines" by singing "GOOD GIIIIIIIIRRRRLLLL" really loudly in the car when it comes on. I was hoping she'd say the phrase "Good Girl" enough times that it would begin to change her behavior, but to no avail. My kids have been wild beasts lately and I can't tell what the deal is. I feel like I live with one of these creatures at least 3 days a week. 

     Last week it was so bad, that I threw in the towel and ate a brownie for breakfast two days in a row. Only I ate it in a deep bowl, and away from the kids so no one would see it and steal it from me. Being a mom is like nothing I've ever experienced. I love it. And I wouldn't trade it for anything. 

Sincerely, 

Me. The Mom.     

Vital Information.

Dear Diary, 

     Yesterday, we went to the store purely because we had a bad case of cabin fever. Despite the whining from our mini-monsters and the 114*F temperature outside, we took off. We walked into the store, grabbed a cart, and then a few minutes later, my 3 year old thought it was vital that everyone in the store knew exactly what was on his mind. He stood there on the tile in the middle of the store and yelled, "I! Got! My! Lightning! Uh-Queen! (McQueen)" and held it up for any and all shoppers to see. Then he moved right on to, "Hey, Everyonnnnneee!!!! My WEE WEE! Is! Hiiiiiding!" 

     With eyes wide open and a dumbfounded look on my face, I beckoned him my direction and we bolted into a fitting room. I'm so glad we have many many years to learn how that whole mind-to-mouth filter works... 

Sincerely, 

Me. The Mom of a Candid Speaker.