I've Arrived.

Dear Diary, 

     After weeks and weeks of suffering through sicknesses and my eldest childs' flirtation with death on a daily basis, I've decided to blog. However, those are stories for another day. 

     Today was a terrible day. The kind where you accidentally curse out loud in front of your children because it's seriously impossible for them to eat their lunches in less than an hour, where your curious baby flips the dog's water bowl over- soaking herself and the carpet, where the dang match breaks in half as you're trying to light it, your kid has poop up her back from an extra forceful push, the grill won't light, Netflix won't work, the kids won't sleep, and you haven't eaten a real meal even once in the day. Believe it or not, aaaaalllll of those things happened at this house today. Minus the cursing. That happened yesterday. 

    So, naturally, I pasted this image on the front lobe of my brain. 

To top it off, starting today and finishing through to the rest of the week, my husband will be gone every single night for various activities. I decided I'd make the most of it. But it wasn't until I was actually getting ready for my "awesome night in" that I realized something. I realized that my definition of a perfect night to myself included basking in a freshly vacuumed house, the dishes done, the lights down low, eating a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch that I found economy size on clearance at my local grocery store, and watching Gossip Girl. I'd like to say that I've finally arrived to Mom Status, but I think even 10 years ago, I'd have done the same thing, only replaced Gossip Girl with Boy Meets World re-runs. If I had a glass in my hand, I'd raise it and make a toast to all you wonderful moms who recollect their sanity at the end of the day, only to lose it again the next morning. Cheers to you! And one more toast to our awesome children who teach us the true meaning of love & patience! All of the sudden, I think I'm thirsty.

Sincerely, 

Me. 

P.S. Obama wanted to toast to us as well. He didn't get the memo that I was only drinking Cherry Pepsi. Excuse his creeper face, he's had a long day, too. 

Kids' Conversations.

Dear Diary, 

     This weekend, my husband and I did something very adventurous. No, we didn't hike the Himalayas. We didn't even have a junk food picnic in front of the TV while watching a military documentary. (Wait...that is really what we do for fun. Are we getting old or...what is going on here.) 

     Anyway, we packed our bags for a night and had a cousin sleepover while the parents went on a romantic get away. Since my kids are toddlers/babies and the kids we watched were 5, 7 & 9, we had a very fun and interesting experience. Here is a conversation we had at dinner one night. (We were eating Garlic Shrimp Alfredo from California Pizza Kitchen.) 

Me: Hey Taylor, can I borrow your cup that says Aylor on it? *Laughs*   

Taylor (9): *Giggle* Yeah. The T fell off. 

Porter (7): NO! Paige scratched it off when she was a baby. 

Paige (5): No I didn't! 

Taylor: Porter...we didn't even have those cups when we were babies. We got them last summer. 


*End of argument* 

Me: So, Paige. You hate shrimp? 

Paige: Yes, I HATE shrimp. 

Me: Are you picky? 

Paige: No.

Taylor: *Nodding her head and pointing to Paige behind her back*

Paige: Hey. Where you pointing at me??? 

Taylor: Well you are picky. 

Paige: No I'm not! 

Taylor: Yeah!!! You don't eat green things! 

*End of argument for Paige*

Me: Who else is picky? 

Taylor: Porter. 

Porter: No, I'm not! 

Taylor: Yes, you are! You don't eat peas! 

*End of argument for Porter* Ding, ding! Winner is...Taylor. 

Me: So Taylor, what don't YOU like?

Taylor: Um, probably red and yellow and green peppers. 

Porter: Red peppers are good! And so are yellow peppers. And green ones. 

Paige: Do you know what Porter's worse enemy is? Beans! Do you know what MY worst enemy is? Bacon! I hate bacon. Because I hate pigs. 

*End of conversation altogether* 

     During the time of this conversation, I was looking around for my phone, wondering how in the world I could record such an awesome moment in time. Kids, the way they talk, the way they move their hands, the way they argue about worst enemies being foods such as beans and bacon. 

     I never thought spending a weekend with 2.5 times as many kids as I already have (there were 5 kids, one gigantic tortoise and one boxer dog) would be my idea of "a good time". But it was fabulous! Kids really brighten the world and I'm so lucky to be a mother of 2 big balls of sunshine. And sometimes, they are just big balls. But I love them. 

Sincerely, 

Me. Mushy Magoo.