That's How It Goes.

Dear Diary, 

     I like things clean. But I am not a clean freak. I realize that I have a husband, two children and a boxer. So...4 children. My house will not be clean 100% of the time. Maybe more like 1%. But houses are to be lived in, not looked at. 

     With that being said, I finally decided to do a deep clean of my two bathrooms. I even went out into the garage to get my Comet, Windex, rubber gloves and toilet scrubber. This was obviously serious businsess. AND, I did it during nap time. (As a side note, do you understand what kinds of motherly bliss can be done during nap time? Let me see, a nap for mom, a hot fudge sundae, a show on Netflix, a hot bath, Tetris, a book reading session, a lengthy phone call to an old friend, mindless Facebookery, etc. And I cleaned the toilets.) 

     After washing/drying both the shower curtain, its liner, and the bath mats, cleaning both toilets, scrubbing the showers, and hand-cleaning the tile floors of each bathroom, I was ready to be done. By this time, both my children had woken up and my eldest had to relieve his bowels. Thankfully, the "drop off" was done just before dumping Clorox into the John. I flushed that thing and trucked on. When I was done, my son came waddling back to me, the look of horror and disgust on his face as he tells me, "Mom, I peeeewwwwwp. Pewp in paaaaants." What?! You are potty trained! And poop trained! Sure enough, even after the first round of bowel relief, he still had to go. If it were me, I'd have sat on that plastic froggy pot as long as possible with the first turd, avoiding everyone and everything. But you know 3 year olds, they have business to take care of. Thomas the train isn't going to play by itself. So poop it was. 

     This was the moment my inner Oscar the Grouch manifest itself as I realized that whole bit with the wash-your-car-and-it-will-rain was true. Only mine was sanitize-your-bathrooms-for-the-first-time-in-forever-and-be-proud-of-yourself-for-17-seconds-until-your-toddler-comes-waddling-back-to-you-with-poop-everywhere. How ironic. 

Sincerely, 

Me. Head of Waste Management.