I Need a Re-Do.

Dear Diary,

     Either I am rapidly becoming more absent minded as time passes, or life is playing a nasty trick on me.

     I also think I need a re-do of yesterday. And the day before.

     It began the night we returned home from a long holiday trip. My mom had sewn me up a "rice pack" as we call them. You know, those things you pop in the microwave and they keep your feet warm or whatever? Well, our recently neglected house cooled down to 64 degrees while we were away. I was more than excited for this rice pack to be done warming up. That dang thing must have known how cold I truly was because not only did it get warm, it lit itself on fire. This is the fourth fire I have single handedly caused inside my home within the last 12 months. I took the pack outside per my husband's request and it took me a good couple of minutes to stomp out the embers with a shoe. The metal plating on the inside of the microwave had a hole burned right through it. My house reeked of burnt rice. And I was cold the rest of the night.

     The next day, I had a million back-to-reality errands to run, including hitting up The Home Depot to fix my $40 Walmart microwave. The afternoon quickly approached us and down went my toddler for nap time. I ran outside real quick to take some plastics to my recycle bin. (I am such a good citizen, saving the earth one Dr. Pepper bottle at a time.) When I came back, I discovered I had locked myself out of the house, because the sliding glass door clicked shut behind me. My crying 11 month old was on the other side of the glass and I could see both my cell phone and the only spare key we had sitting on the counter top. Just my luck. I ran to the neighbors. They weren't home. Ran to the neighbor 2 doors down who I had yet to meet. He was working in his garage and seemed less than enthused to meet me for the first time. Let me tell you that, "Hi, I'm your new neighbor and I locked myself out of my house with my two babies inside" is a great ice breaker of a sentence. I recommend it. Ten minutes and one sexy husband later, my front door was opened and all was right with the world. 

     As my husband was about to head back to work, I popped a gum ball in my mouth I found on the counter top. As I was chewing it, it completely disintegrated in my mouth, leaving all sorts of nasty in the grooves of my molars. So fun to undo. Note: Do not eat anything your toddler has held in his hand for a long period of time. It's gross and it might melt in your mouth.

     Here's hoping tomorrow doesn't bring as many face-palming moments. 

Sincerely, 

 






ME.