Today I almost died. Well, technically I almost yelled, not died. I was at Walmart (you should have known...that place is terrifying) picking out a bunch of potty training goodies for my little man. All of the sudden, I hear this shrill cry of a bratty kid in the next aisle. The mom was apparently used to this behavior and the kid knew how to get under her skin. Mom: 0, Kid: 1. She eventually calmed him down by examining this near-life-size plastic Spider Man he so desperately wanted (that no one would ever die without) and they were jabbering together in espanol. The kid decided to throw another tantrum and the mom left him. Yep, straight up left him alone in the aisle. Mom: 1, Kid: 1. This was good, because I was about to give him a piece of my mind...in his native tongue. Lucky for him, this crazy white lady has taken a few spanish classes. But the back of my hand doesn't need to speak. WA-BAM! I only wish. It made me grateful for the little bundle of sweetness I was pushing around in my cart. He asks for a toy and when I say he can't have it, he just sits there quietly and we keep on truckin. I'm not saying my child is perfect, but the reason he behaves so well in public is because I've taught him to do so. He hasn't always been that way. But it sure does take every piece of energy I own to not whip some kids in line, like, "Here, woman. Get out of the way. Your kids needs a whoppin' and they obviously have you by the balls". I've been at church, at the store, and with friends whose kids I'd like to bop on the face. One day, I just might.
So, hide yo kids, hide yo wife, and hide yo husbands, cuz I be whoppin errybody out here. (If you didn't understand this reference, watch the video below. The whole thing. And I'm sorry it took you so long to see this. Skip to 1:03 if you're super impatient like me.)
Sincerely,
Me. The Anti-Brat.
I will say that my kid acts like the espanol kid at times and I don't give in, he just keeps whining. You are just lucky you have a kid that doesn't go on and on. Trust me, I have tried everything in the book and nothing works all the time, so sometimes you just have to let them cry it out. But I will say he doesn't do it every time, maybe half. There have been I tell him no and he says, why not, I explain and that is that.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I wonder if I have the best kids in the whole world or if other people are just really crappy parents. Maybe a combo? Every now and then get the urge to take people's kids for a while and see if they aren't better behaved after living with me and my husband for a bit.
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