My Affair With Tony Horton.

Dear Diary, 

     Above is a picture of Tony Horton. In case you didn't know, he is the mastermind behind P90X. He kicks my butt. And gives me rug burns.

     Let me explain. See, I have a protruding tailbone. I cannot do a sit up without sliding across the carpet a couple of inches, leaving a nasty burn or blister on my back side. So naturally, when my husband comes home from work and I start complaining about my rug burn, he realizes our recent whoopdeedoo was indeed not on a carpeted surface and his raised eyebrow indicates suspicion. 

     It is a terrible problem to have and I've contemplated buying a Dr. Scholl's gel shoe insert and duct taping it to my rump just so I can successfully complete Ab Ripper X without sustaining any injuries to my crack. 

     I did get myself a real rug burn once from a little adventure we had in the living room after first being married. It also happened to be the day before Christmas. On Christmas Day, we were opening presents at my parents' house. Apparently I was bum-crackin it and my dad was sitting behind me. He looked at the portion of my exposed burn, shot me a wide eyed glance full of judgment and continued on with his presents. Merry Christmas, Dad. 

Sincerely, 

Me.