Call Me Maybe.

Alright DIARY, 


     These past few days I've been a little overwhelmed by kids. I thought I'd re-write Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe" to something that is a bit more...fitting for moms... (Here's the official video in case you need to get the tune in your head first. Good luck getting it OUT when you're done!) 

I fell in love with a man,
So cute, and he had a tan,
Just sporting his black Ray Bans,
And now I have his babe. 


A little intercourse leads,
To a hefty pregnancy,
Nine months of pure misery,
And now I have his babe.


Your lovin' got me, Long kiss, stole my heart key.
Now I am a mommy, 
Where you think you're goin, baby? 


Hey, I just met you.
And this is CRAZY, 
My kid won't sleep well,
Please take my baby.


It's hard to function, and I'm cranky,
My kid won't sleep well,
Please take my baby. 


Hey, I just met you. 
And this is CRAZY, 
My kid won't sleep well,
Please take my baby. 


And all the other moms, 
Will wish they were me,
My kid won't sleep well, 
Please take my baby. 


Sixteen months passed and you know,
It was a pretty big blow,
We just forgot birth control, 
And now I have two babes. 


Two little kids in two years,
Can lead to so many tears,
And reconfirm all your fears,
And now I have two babes. 


Their lovin got me, soft skin, nice and squishy, 
Yes, I am their mommy, 
Holy cow I have two babies? 


Hey, I just met you.
And this is CRAZY, 
My kid won't sleep well, 
Please take my baby. 


It's hard to function, and I'm cranky, 
My kid won't sleep well, 
Please take my baby. 


And all the other moms, 
Will wish they were me, 
My kid won't sleep well, 
Please take my baby. 


Before they came into my life,
I had some money, 
I had some money, 
I had some mon-mon-ey. 


Before they came into my life, 
I had some money, 
And my sanity, 
Oh yes, my sanity. 


It's hard to think that, 
I wasn't insane, 
My kids don't sleep well, 
Please take my babies. 


Hey I just met you, 
And this is CRAZY, 
My kid won't sleep well,
Please take my baby. 


It's hard to function, and I'm cranky, 
My kid won't sleep well, 
Please take my baby. 


And all the other moms, 
Will wish they were me, 
My kid won't sleep well, 
Please take my baby.


Before they came into my life, 
I had some money, 
I had some money, 
I had some mon-mon-ey. 


Before they came came into my life,
I had some money, 
And my sanity, 
Oh yes, my sanity. 


So, want my babies? 




(Just for a night. I'll miss them if it's any longer...)


Sincerely, 


Me.