Tooth Be Perfectly Honest.

Dear Diary, 


     I. Am. Depressed. Having two kids in two years sucked the life outta my teeth. After 9 cavities, 1 root canal, 4 fillings, and now a need to re-treat the root canal, fix an existing filling and fill the remaining 5 cavities for the first time, I'm cursing my children's name. And my husband's man parts. I'm pretty sure I'd like to file a law suit against the Tooth Fairy. My dentist told me that the general rule is one root canal per child. I'm sort of loving these continuous confirmations that two children is my limit. In the mean time, I'll be taking into consideration putting all my meals in a blender and drinking them, as to not let any food particles even touch my beloved teeth. Yes, this includes the home made cheeseburger and french fries I intend to make for dinner tomorrow night. Mix a little bit of H2O in there and we're good. Orange juice might even add a nice touch to that mixture. To be honest, I'd rather stab myself in the toe with a Cutco knife than have the insane amount of teeth problems I've had since having kids. I'm going to have to document these moments in full detail so my kids will someday know the true sacrifices of having children. 


Sincerely, 

Me.  

This ecard is totally me. If I could take back all the crap I ate when I was pregnant, I so would. Those late nights of emptying Smartie's packets and watching Storage Wars have done me in. I basically traded a mouth full of cavities for 9 months of sweets, and I am indeed ashamed.