Welcome to Reality, Kid.

Dear Diary,    


     I specifically remember the day reality hit me. I was 18 and in my second semester of college. My first semester, I lived on campus and had purchased the mandatory meal plan. I didn't need to go grocery shopping, which was great because I didn't have a car. I'd probably look kind of funny with a backpack full of groceries while skateboarding back home from Basha's. Not ideal. So my second semester, I lived off campus but I lived with 3 girls who each had cars. One day I was at Walmart and I remember needing to buy yogurt. I called my mom and in a dramatic & shreiky tone I asked, "MOM. Did you know that yogurt is FIFTY CENTS for ONE CONTAINER?!". She laughed at me. Then proceeded to tell me that my brother had the same reality check some time ago but with toilet paper. I guess he thought TP came with the house you lived in. After all, who actually PAYS for something to wipe their hiney with? That's nonsense. 


     With that being said, I went grocery shopping the other day. And like any other frugal, coupon-clipping, best-part-of-my-week-is-Tuesday-because-I-sit-down-and-check-out-all-the-grocery-ads-that-are-good-starting-Wednesday type of mom, I just could not believe that cream cheese was TWO BUCKS a bar. For real??? What has life come to? I'm better off eating a Wendy's Junior Bacon Cheeseburger for every meal than buying items from the grocery store to make a healthy meal with. And remember my zombies? Yeah, well they need food too. I'm thinking my next item of business as a mother and a vice president of the household is growing myself a garden. And I guess since cream cheese doesn't grow in a garden, I'll be needing a couple of animals too. But I guess I need a house first. And probably some money. Oh, balls- I guess I'm stuck paying $2 for cream cheese for a really long time. 


Sincerely, 


Me.