I realized something today. I realized that bacon smells great, but not as a perfume. I was nursing my baby when I realized my hair and clothing had a bacon-y smell. Note to self: eat bacon, THEN shower.
On top of that, I noticed my baby nursed for all of a minute and a half on one side. I've known for a few days now, but have been in denial about the fact that I basically only have one boob that produces milk as of late. I feel like I'm an airplane with an engine that's gone out. This happened with my last baby and I found myself stuffing my bra for the remainder of my time nursing. (What??? Don't 15 year old girls stuff their bras? Not grown women with babies!)Eh.
Speaking of boobs. Don't you just wonder what on Earth the hype is all about? Is it the fat? Because I can easily stick a needle through the side of a man's boob and pump it up with some of the extra fat I have "lyin around" & stuff it like a pastry. Somehow I bet it wouldn't be the same. Could be the chest hair. Takes away from the sexy. Who knows. All I know is, I don't want to end up like those African women on that cute documentary "Babies". Their boobs were more like...let me think...extension cords. When their children got hungry, they just picked up their "hose" and handed it over. I'm going to really start to wonder what's happened to my body the closer my boobs get to my belly button. In the meantime, I'll continue to let my husband think they are somehow magical. And I'll be sure to follow this little piece of advice...
Sincerely,
Me
I think wearing a bra 16 hours a day will do its part to keep our boobs from reaching "extension chord" status. That's what I tell myself, at least. And I totally empathize with the one-boob-nurser. I've been lopsided from the very beginning. My husband doesn't seem to mind though :)
ReplyDeleteNow that explains why I haven't had a "nursing partner" during Sunday School at church. ;) And yeah, boobs are never the same once you've nursed...it sucks! (pun intended):)
ReplyDeleteBtw, love your blog! You're hilarious! Now I have a blog to follow and can have my feelings validated! ;)